Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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