I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
