you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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