I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
