he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
