I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
