Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
