The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize