he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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