I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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