Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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