So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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