ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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