his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
