Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Just took my morning after pill in the library
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
