I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
