Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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