We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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