we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
