Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
