I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
