She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
