I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
