Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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