on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
