Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
