thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
