I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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