We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
