i would punch a child for taco bell
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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