my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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