Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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