i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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