dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
