when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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