This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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