the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
