No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
