I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
