butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she told me i tasted like america
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize