you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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