i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
