No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
