we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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