I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize