the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
