Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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