Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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