did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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