I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize