you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
