All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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