I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
