Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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