Umm I'm too high to move.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
