Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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