Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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