I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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