In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
