Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Dignity is for republicans.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
