Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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