I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
