Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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