Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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