Dual....:-)
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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