She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
