help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
