Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
