I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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