carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
