when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
