Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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