i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
